is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
