just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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