I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
