i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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