Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
