I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
