I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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