I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
