we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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