why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
