Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
