i would punch a child for taco bell
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
