Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize