Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
