Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
