I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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