My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
