Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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