I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
