she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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