i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
