Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
