the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
