why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
