so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
