he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We smell like vodka and hangover
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