I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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