I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
