Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
