My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
