We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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