if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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