She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize