she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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