The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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