i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Someone signed my nipple.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
