Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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