Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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