Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize