im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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