Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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