Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
