he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
