Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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