Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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