'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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