12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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