who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
