i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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