They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
