He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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