I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
