i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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