omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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