Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
