meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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