if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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