But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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