dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
