hotel room ftw
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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