Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
