can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
