Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
high people should be assigned attendants
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
