I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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