My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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