As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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