Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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