Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize