Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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