on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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