Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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