Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
